Sunday, August 9, 2009

Ooooo it's a hot one

Okay, it's a sickness I know, but I L.O.V.E. hot weather. I also love typing out words with periods in between each letter. To my eye, it really makes the word I'm trying to emphasize just P.O.P. See what I mean? I also, in my stupidly nerdy way, think it looks cool and at almost 42, I am all about being cool. Anyhoo, as usual, I digress. Back to the topic at hand.

Today is hot. It's 99 degrees Farenheit and 100% humidity. The little Weather Channel icon thingy is flashing a dangerous yellow on my tool bar. It is warning us all, that guess what? It's hot outside. The heat index is like 200 degrees. Do I worry? Am I stocking up on Gatorade and pulling the shades down low? Ohhhh no, not moi. Instead I say to Mother Nature "Bring it on baby!" You would think that as one with extra internal insulation (a.k.a. fat, adipose tissue, lots of ju-dunka-dunk in my ba-donka-donk) I wouldn't be a fan of weather like this. But I am, I am, I am. Weather like this invigorates me. Makes me do things like wash my windows (which I just finished, all 12 of them-yeah, the shack is actually big enough to have 12, although I count the big picture window as three, even though they're right next to each other). And now that the windows are sparkling clean in the afternoon inferno warmth, I am tackling the kitchen cabinets. With the windows open. Ah, summer time bliss in the Tidewater area of Virginia. Luckily the screens are keeping the mosquitos out. Although our skeeters here usually just walk in through the front door. They're big like that. And like most unwanted guests, they don't call ahead of time and they don't bring a casserole. Bastitches.

Of course my cleaning frenzy has really motivated the family. Wou-wou is doing her little part by taking an extra long nap and Sexy Beast has taken Puddin' Pie and his friend to the movies. Although I am totally psyched broken up about not getting to see "G.I. Joe" and the fabulous toy marketing goodness that it has to offer, I have the fabulousness that is known as "No one in my way while I clean like an idiot". Oh nirvana in a nutshell. I am taking a short break to honor all this by committing it to the written word. That way, when it's a miserably cold February day, I can reread this and be transported to the sunshiney happiness that is today.

I'm off to finish the cabinets and then I am heading outside, sweet tea in hand, to lounge in the swing and tempt the skeeters with the summer love offering of my red blood cells. Oh yeah baby, summertime and the living is E.A.S.Y.

Monday, August 3, 2009

My first post (a.k.a. I am so not ready for this)

Okay, here I go. I've had this blog set up for a year and have never. ever. written a post. What can I say? That's how I roll. I'd much rather stalk, I mean read, what other people have written. I worry that what I have to say won't be funny enough, or interesting, or grammatically correct. I'm OCD like that. I've also got that terrible gene that makes me secretly want people to like me. It's bad enough dealing with it in the real world, but open myself up to that kind of stress on the internets? Oh lawd its enough to give me the vapors. But since I figure that I don't have anything else better to do on this hot as Hades Monday (like laundry, annual dusting, dog bathing, semi annual vacuuming), I might as well jump in feet first.

I don't plan on blogging about anything in particular. I don't have any amazing skills. I mean, I cook well, but not well enough to add to the great stuff already out there (Hello to my heroine, PW, for that). I don't have much money but that hasn't triggered any hidden thrifty talents of being able to turn Goodwill store cast-offs into awesomeness (Hello to Thrifty Decor Chick). Heck, I could make a blog out of just what I can't do, but that would only send me spiraling into a deep dark hole that a measly ten mg per day of Lexapro could never get my carcass out of. Instead, I plan on being like "Seinfeld" and blogging about nothing. Laugh. Seriously, I just plan on writing about my little corner of the world and what goes on in it.

If nothing else, it will be a great stress reliever for me, and maybe, just maybe, someone out there in internets will get a smile, or a laugh or a "Thank God I am not the only one who's husband/kids/mama/boss/fill-in-the-blank did that." Since I am embarrassingly transparent and don't mind showing my flaws, there should be a lot of those kinds of moments. I come from a line of women whose internal filters were broken, if not absent, so I tend to speak what's on my mind-good, bad or indifferent. I also pretty much write like I talk. Hence all of the grammatical flaws. Feel free to try and correct me. I'll thank you kindly then keep right on grammar flawing away. The one area which I will try to be good in though is spelling. I have a real problem with seeing misspelled words in print. It makes me crazy. I mean, hello...even I know how to use spell-check (but I will brag and say that I don't HAVE to use it because I was the sixth grade spelling bee champ at Armstrong Fundamental Elementary School thankyouverymuch.)

So, sit back. Grab a glass of sweet ice tea (the world's most perfect liquid) and read along with me. I hope y'all like me. I hope someone (anyone...please?) will leave a comment. I will try not to embarrass anyone but myself. Sound like a plan? Alrighty then. Fist bump and blog on baby!